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Masterclass on Systemic Team Coaching discusses how coaching is evolving in organizations.

We have a saying in my chosen family group that letting go only seems to happen when we are at our capacity for feeling stuck… this video is a nice reminder that we do have choices today about who, what and where we invest our valuable time and energy. Maybe it’s as simple as a shift in perspective, or as complex as a big life change… whatever the case, remembering that we are empowered to choose can be the key we need to start getting freedom from our stuck thinking.

Humans are social beings.  We instinctively seek connection.  We require love, connection and guidance from other humans.

In an article published in Psychology Today, the author writes: “People who feel more connected to others have lower rates of anxiety and depression. Moreover, studies show they also have higher self-esteem, are more empathetic to others, more trusting and cooperative and, as a consequence, others are more open to trusting and cooperating with them. Social connectedness therefore generates a positive feedback loop of social, emotional and physical well-being.”

As a coach, I encourage all of my clients to pursue their dreams.  I pursue my own dreams!  There is a great deal of freedom in giving way to our passions, following opportunities, and knowing what is important to us.  I also encourage balance… being social, connecting with others and being part of a tribe allows us to achieve more than we ever thought possible.  Our tribe lifts and elevate our consciousness, makes us stronger, and increases our happiness and satisfaction, just by sharing their energy with us.

My tribe has changed many times over the years.  Today, my relationships are based on intimacy, shared values, love, and acceptance.  They are based on who we are on the inside and sharing what is important to us.  My tribe comes from all walks of life… and I remain open to welcoming new members, as much as I remain open to saying good bye when life takes us down different paths.

What does your tribe look like?  What SHOULD it look like?  At minimum, you probably want to connect with people that share the same values as you… whether it’s through a support group, community activities or team sports.  You also want to be open to the idea of making connections… be willing to take risks, walk through fear, and allow others to get to know you while you are getting to know them.  Friends, family, colleagues… it’s all about being open to possibilities.  The answer to what is important to you, lies within you.

This book.  Recommended to me when I first started my management role, when I started coaching, when I became a mentor, I finally sat down to read it.  It held my attention captive right to the end.

“You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.” If you want to win people over, try being positive, respectful, polite and appreciative instead of negative, critical, rude and dismissive.  The book revolves around these principles and different techniques you can use to win people over.

The key methods to “making honey”, that stood out for me, are as follows:

1. Put peoples interests, passions, and desires ahead of yours.  The book has some fantastic examples of some of the great leaders of our time, and the influence they had over others, just by taking a sincere interest in who they were as people.
2. Appreciation and recognition are two principles that come up often throughout the book.  People love to be appreciated… it makes them feel important and valued, and people that feel important and valued are engaged and motivated to do great things.
3. Show that you are interested in people and learning about them.  Smile. Ask about their interests.  Remember their name.  Their favorite hobby.
4. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.  How often does criticizing or complaining to give you the results you want?  Probably not as often as you would like.  This is where the Golden Rule comes in: “Do unto others as you would have done unto you.”
5. Dramatize your ideas and align them with what people desire.  Find out what people value, what is important to them, what they see as their purpose.  Align your desires and passions with theirs and you significantly increase the energy and excitement for achieving results.

This book has many examples of how the principles have been used effectively, over and over in many different situations… families, friendships, business relationships, and even former presidents.   The principles were tested, and tested again, and continue to be true.  If you have a desire to influence others, or even just be a better friend, check this book out!

Lately I have been waking up feeling sad, anxious, lonely, and depressed. Which to the innocent bystander might sound weird, because I am at a really good place in my life… career that I love, following my dreams, great friends and family.

I know I am not alone in these feelings.  I have a really strong network of powerful women (and men) that say they have ALL felt the same way at various points throughout their lives.  And I bet if you are reading this, you also feel or have felt these things and are looking for a solution.

You might be wondering WHY you are feeling these things when you seem to have it all going on in life.  In my years of experience, here are a few of the most common reasons people feel this way:

• You are feeling stuck in the day to day grind with no observable light at the end of the tunnel
• You are feeling overwhelmed by the volume of work that it would take to achieve your goals
• You are feeling disconnected from (or lacking) a support network that you can connect to on a regular basis
• You are feeling discouraged because sometimes, no matter how hard we work, we don’t seem to get the things we want.

So HOW does one go from feeling these things to thriving in life?  And by thriving, I don’t necessarily mean that every day is happy joyous and free.  Thriving is when we are growing, changing, and working on what makes us happy willingly.  It means we are connected to our values and what is important to us.  We use those values as guideposts to tell us what path to take in life.

Change starts with one small step... one thing you can do to move you forward each day, that will bring you joy, contentment, satisfaction, connection, peace, or whatever feeling you have decided is most important to you.  And when I say small step I mean SMALL!  It needs to be an action you can take each day, even if it is just 5 minutes.  And once you feel good about that step, you take another small step to build on that.  And before you know it, you have moved towards your goal of freedom, satisfaction, connection, love, whatever is important to you.

Each day I choose to do something good for myself, whatever that looks like.  Maybe it’s drinking lots of water, or eating a healthy breakfast, taking time to reflect, going for a walk, or talking to a friend.  And over time, making good choices for myself became a habit so now, when I am feeling down, I understand what I need to do to pick myself up again.  And I didn’t do this alone… I have coaches, support, mentors, family and friends that I reach out to that help me move forward when I am stuck.  

So if you have ever felt this way, or are feeling this way now, start with that small step.  Maybe it’s sending me an email asking for help, or making a healthy choice, or reaching out to someone in your support network. Whatever that looks like for you, it’s time to take that small step towards thriving in your life.